Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize