I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
