When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize