He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
