i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
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there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
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If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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