Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
