I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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