He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
