i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
