super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
