Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
