seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize