What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
