Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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