I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So vagazzling was a success
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize