DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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