I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
