Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Randomize
