he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
