you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
