that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
