omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize