The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
