You're my little dorito
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
