i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
