Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
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I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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