You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
