She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
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