The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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