i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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