try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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