so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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