No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
