i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
