I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
