Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
