They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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