do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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