If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Drunk is not a location!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
