Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
