i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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