The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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