I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
