Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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