Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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