I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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