I'm drive I can fine osifer
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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