This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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