the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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