doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
