is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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