so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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