So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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