forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
