I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
