I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
