Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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